The Empowered Stepmom | Biblical Boundaries, Habits, Mindset

#36 Stepfamily Mission POSSIBLE! | Stepfamily Makeover

June 17, 2021 Season 3 Episode 36
The Empowered Stepmom | Biblical Boundaries, Habits, Mindset
🔒 #36 Stepfamily Mission POSSIBLE! | Stepfamily Makeover
Show Notes Transcript

Subscriber-only episode

Guess what? The Bluff is getting a makeover! As I hang another number on my birthday tree this week, I’m beginning to see a future vision take place.  It starts with a name. If I were to ask you to give me a biblical example of when God gave someone a name change, who would you choose?

  • Abram to Abraham?
  • Sarai to Sarah?
  • Jacob to Israel?
  • Simon to Cephas or Peter?
  • Hadassah to Esther?
  • Or the writer of much of the new testament – Saul to Paul?

I was first struck with the importance of a name change when I got remarried.  I recall a friend asking me whether I was taking my man’s last name or keeping my own. After all, my entire career and past 24 years I was known by a different name.  When responding to my friend, I chuckled and thought, “I hadn’t really considered this aspect of remarrying before!” And as soon as I said that, I realized I was going to change my name. Better stated, I knew then, just as I do now, that God’s hand was in this name change. 

The new name was yet another sign of dramatic changes occurring underneath the surface.  God had been moving in my life as I had invited him into my everyday.  While I grew up in a church, I didn’t have the deep connections, relationships, or mentoring to understand what knowing Jesus was all about.  That’s not discrediting those in my circle of influence, it’s merely a statement of my lack of knowing and exploring who Jesus was to me.

As Blended on the Bluff transitions, we will continue to explore and apply who Jesus is to stepfamilies. I invite you along for the amazing journey where all things are possible with God. And yes, that means being successful in your blend is what this podcast, Stepfamily Mission POSSIBLE!, is all about.  We'll be back in July with makeover art and new conversations and a surprise guest co-host!

Need help with your 90 day rocks? Email me at hello@stepfamilypodcast.com today! Let's get started, together!

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Bold & Blended Stepmoms Podcast
AI Transcript may have you scratching your head...but not for too long! You'll be able to discern in context.  Blessings!! Jen

Episode: #36 Stepfamily Mission POSSIBLE! | Stepfamily Makeover

[00:00:00] Hey there everybody. Jen Rogers. I'm so pleased to welcome you to the last episode of season number three. I've got some great, exciting news in store for you. Let's go ahead and get started.

[00:00:18] Well, hey there everybody. Welcome to episode number 36. I am so excited about this episode because this is unlike anything that I have ever done. , what's going on? Jen? You might ask, well, normally I would say, Who I was and the name of the show. And I gotta tell you, there's been some stuff cooking in the kitchen here.

[00:00:45] So this is the last episode for season number three. Now, I don't know about you and what you know about podcasting. I can tell you what I know about podcasting, which is very little. So yes, I can get in front of the microphone and I can have a conversation and I can interview people. I love that part.

[00:01:07] What I mean about the little that I know about podcasting is what makes a season, how long does a season run? How do you number your podcasts? Who do you invite? How long should your podcast be? And I gotta tell you, similar to being a stepmom in a stepfamily, I have been making it up as I go along. How about you

[00:01:30] What kind of things are you making up on the fly? Listen, I've been in this, what I call stepmom gig for about seven years, and there are several things that I have learned. And there are several things that God is still teaching me if you don't hear the undertones and the pain and confusion and frustration underlying those words.

[00:01:58] Let me just be [00:02:00] clear. Sometimes being a stepmom, Sucks. Okay. It just sucks. , there's role confusion. There is name confusion. There is authority and responsibility, confusion. There's all kinds of new things that go along with blended. Parenting. So for those of you out there who have had a smooth transition, boy do I wanna hear from you.

[00:02:29] Email me@hellostepfamilypodcast.com and let me know what you've done to smooth this transition. Because there are many of us who are still struggling. There are many of us who want to acquire new skills so that we actually can blend beautifully together. Now I gotta tell you, I married my soulmate. I did, but I didn't marry my soul stepkids, if you will, and I certainly didn't marry my soul.

[00:02:59] Bonus ex-wife. All right, . And the flip side is reverse. My husband married me, his kids, they had to come along for the ride and so did his ex-wife. And so that's why things are so chaotic at times because we're all thrown in this mix together. And while we thought we were prepared and had some idea of what this blending thing was all about, we really didn't know what we didn't know.

[00:03:34] Well, let me tell you, here's what I do know about podcasting. . Maybe I know more about podcasting than being a stepparent. No, I don't know about that. I think actually I know more than I've given myself credit for. Is that the same for you? That oftentimes we short sell what we've been able to accomplish?

[00:03:57] Listen, in this [00:04:00] past year since starting this podcast, since September. The recurring theme that God has been teaching me is that it is about understanding how the kids impact your relationship, how the kids are feeling about blend. Understanding that the kids are transitioning in very different ways based on their own personal experiences, based on their own personalities, and based on the nature of cooperation, the level of cooperation of the co-parent.

[00:04:39] So several of you have the blessing of successful co-parenting, and I am so thankful that you have that and many, many more. Unfortunately. Don't have that successful co-parenting, and this podcast has been about that, about reaching out and letting people understand that they're not alone. That there are things that happen in blending families that are normal.

[00:05:09] They just don't feel very good. So as you transition and as you gain more experience in your blend, it's um, what is it? It is. opportunity after opportunity to acquire Intel and practice what you've learned aligned with scriptural principles. And that's what this blending beautifully is all about. And as I have talked to many, many different guests, I have learned several things.

[00:05:46] Whether it was discovering, um, about your blended superpower or applying a red card in soccer, with my guest, Joel Hall Baker in episodes 26 and 27, [00:06:00] or whether we focus on these illusions of perfection with Chrissy Elrod in episode 29, or we drew from the power of story to unify with my beautiful guest and Eliza in episode number 32.

[00:06:16] Or we wondered why is the ex-wife fitting on my sofa? , listen to episode number 22 with my recurring collaborator, Megan, bottom on that one. These are some of the things that I have learned in these first thirties plus episodes, and I've had a great time acquiring this intel. And here's the thing that's come out both in the podcast and in coaching, is this, that we can take the impossible and turn them into stepfamily mission possible.

[00:06:55] So what is this episode all about? Well, you know when you've been involved in something for a time and after a while you begin to feel like it's time for a change. If you're willing to step outside your comfort zone, then there are some beautiful new discoveries that are waiting for you. So this is my invitation to you, to the Stepfamily audience to come on in and discover with me some beautifully blended new things that are coming our way.

[00:07:25] So in episode 36, it is time to step out of our comfort zone here on Blended On the Bluff, and that starts with a makeover . So this week I hung another birthday number on my birthday tree and I've been. Reflective thinking about, okay. as I acquire another number that is supposed to signify that I've gotten more wisdom to what do I see for the future?

[00:07:57] What is it that I want to do [00:08:00] in the next 90 days? So for those of you who know me, while you know I am a planner, I have dubbed myself a planner evangelist. I believe in the power of planning. I use that in my coaching 90 day rocks. What can we do in the next. 90 days so that we can move from where we are to where we wanna be.

[00:08:18] So in these next 90 days, this is what I'm thinking about. Where can we move the episode content, the coaching content? Where can we provide more value for you, our listeners? So from now on, what you're gonna hear me say is this is Jen Rogers with Stepfamily Mission Possible, and for the first few episodes of season number four, which will be coming in July, I will be reminding the audience that we were formally known as blended on the.

[00:08:56] And for those of you who are wondering, where did that name come from? I talk about that in my introductory podcast episode, where as a blended family member living on the Missouri River Bluff, it seemed like a perfect alliteration of blended bees, right? . So now we're turning that into stepfamily mission possible.

[00:09:20] So let me see if I can practice. Hey there everybody. This is Jen Rogers with Stepfamily Mission. Possible. I can't wait to have another conversation with my next guest about how we as Stepfamily members can blend beautifully together because if we believe in what God says, If we believe that all things are possible with him and we are in unity with him and with our partner, then all things are possible.

[00:09:56] Now, let me tell you, , it's [00:10:00] not necessarily gonna look the way that we have idealized. The way that we thought things were gonna transition. There are always bumps in the road, but this is why I strongly encourage you to hire a coach. I'd love to work with you, but this is not about working with one person.

[00:10:20] This is about working with a qualified. Coach who can help your family move from where you are to where you want to be. And we do this in 90 day chunks. So in July, we're also gonna talk about that. How can we do that? How can we do that in a way where it is financially feasible and where it is? Time feasible because you, you and I know we deal with custody schedules and all kinds of activities that occur with our kiddos that give us a short amount of time to actually stop, think.

[00:10:56] Plan and act, and so that is my encouragement to you to begin to think about in these next 90 days. So in July, August and September, at the end of September, what would you like to look back and say? . Wow, we achieved this big rock. What one thing would you like to change? Would it be the way that you communicate within your step-family in your home?

[00:11:28] Would it be getting a hold on your finances? Would it be recapturing your starry-eyed love affair, and remembering what brought the two of you together in the first place? would it be thinking about what could be different if you had a paradigm shift? So this is again, my invitation to you to think about what would a 90 day makeover look like for your blended family?

[00:11:58] You know, I was reminded, [00:12:00] uh, recently a, about someone asking me when I. Getting remarried, whether or not I was going to change my name, , and I hadn't really thought about it. I mean, after, after all my entire career, basically the 24 years prior to getting remarried, I was known by a different name. But when I responded to my friend, I thought, Hmm.

[00:12:25] I hadn't really considered this aspect of remarrying before, but as soon as I said that, I realized I was going to change my name. Now, can you think of other names that were changed when there was a significant life event occurring? I can, let me name a few, maybe you'll think of them as well. Abram to Abraham.

[00:12:53] Sarah to Sarah Jacob to Israel, Simon to Peter Hadassa to Es. or the writer of much of the New Testament, Saul to Paul . Think about that. I thought about that in relation to this name change for the podcast. So I am here to root for you, to encourage you to support you to provide opportunities. For you through coaching and through my guest opportunities where you can actually achieve Stepfamily mission possible for your stepfamily.

[00:13:34] I can't wait for July's episodes and I can't wait to share the surprises that I have in store for you. It is going to be a great, great ride. Thank you so much for your support of blended on the. But this podcast is now, well, a lot like Prince , formerly known as Blended on the Bluff. This is Jen [00:14:00] Rogers with Step Family Mission.

[00:14:02] Possible.