Stepfamily Mission POSSIBLE!

Shell Shocked! | Featuring Joel Hawbaker #26

April 08, 2021 Season 3 Episode 12
Stepfamily Mission POSSIBLE!
Shell Shocked! | Featuring Joel Hawbaker #26
Show Notes

When's the last time you thanked God for being in a blended family? 
When Joel prayed over the men at the end of our conversation, I was convicted to spend time on being thankful for being blended.  Honestly, I'm still working on that!
(You'll hear the prayer next week, in part 2!)

Ready to INVEST in your RELATIONSHIP?  Sign up for Blended Bootcamp! May 14-May 15.  Get on the list at! Or, email me at [email protected]

This week, listen in as Joel Hawbaker shares his wisdom in the form of 10 Commandments for Blended Families!
How to avoid being Shell Shocked when you blend?  Invest in your relationship, FIRST!

Then, incorporate TWO PILLARS
1. Be the adult you want your children to become
2. Remember the Golden Rule

I dedicate this episode to all the blended dads out there!  You are special!  You are the spiritual leaders of your households!  You are blessed!  Wield the authority God has given you!

Joel's Gift to You - Blended Peace of Mind through his $397 course - which is FREE for a limited time! Check out the details now at!

Ten Commandments of Blended Family Life

  1. Over communicate with all adults involved: choose a format/technology that works, and use it. When in doubt, communicate about it.
  2. Be respectful, calm, and patient with everyone involved, even if you’re the only one doing it (“A soft answer turns away wrath”).
  3. Use discernment to learn to choose your battles very carefully: differentiate between personal dislikes and ‘red flag’ issues.
  4. Be willing to graciously give way on minor issues. Yes, this comes with risk, but it’s still the right thing to do sometimes.
  5. Choose to believe the best about the other household, and be sure to celebrate and acknowledge it when you see it ("A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems." - CS Lewis, in 'Mere Christianity').
  6. Express genuine gratitude as often as possible whenever a joint agreement is reached.
  7. Remember every day that you are the adult, and your task is to model maturity and wisdom for your children. Your task is NOT to ‘win’, get revenge, or even get your own way.
  8. Don’t be afraid to ask for 3rd-party help from a counselor, pastor, neutral friend, or someone else that all parties are comfortable with.
  9. Work through your personal issues on your time, NOT in front of or by involving the children.
  10. Be as consistent as possible at both (or all) houses in all areas of life. Also remember that total consistency is impossible, even in traditional families.

You can find Joel's podcast here.